Do you consider yourself a natural networker? No? Well, you are not alone. For much of the population, networking feels unnatural, at least initially. That may be due in part to our misconceptions about networking, especially in the context of job hunting. Let me begin by explaining what networking is, and is not!

Networking is not about using people. It is about building a relationship and sharing information. Ideally, networking is a byproduct of every day interactions with the people in our circle of influence and those we come in contact with as a result of taking care of daily business.

Networking is not about how many business cards you give out. It is not the number of cards you give out that is important. It is about the relationships you build that are reflected in the business cards you collect as a result of having meaningful conversations.

Networking is not about asking for a job. Networking is about exchanging meaningful information, sharing expertise and making a very real connection with an individual.

It is about opening a dialogue. Some dialogues are short and others are longer and take more time to develop.

When networking, always have as your primary goal, making a friend or building a relationship. This means listen at least as much as you talk. Be genuinely curious about the other person. Ask questions; let the conversation be about them. You will get your turn.

Look for ways to give before you get. If you can't find a way to give before you get, try to give while you get, and if all else fails, identify ways to give after you get. One of the worst things you can do is take, take, take and never give back. That is what gives networking a bad name. Do this and your reputation and network will suffer.

Years ago a colleague made a connection with a high profile professional who arranged for her to meet some very influential people.

In the course of the initial conversation my associate discovered that this professional needed help editing her writing. My co-worker, who previously worked in publishing, offered her editing services as a way of saying thank you. It turned out that the meeting was equally valuable to both parties. That is the best case scenario. Always be on the lookout for unexpected ways to give back.

Say thank you and mean it. We all want to be acknowledged for the kindness we show and the truth is we are not thanked often enough. When a friend, colleague, or networking contact makes a connection for you, offers advice, or provides helpful information, express your appreciation.

When you need a good mechanic, doctor, or financial advisor what do you do? You ask your friends to suggest someone they trust. When you need advice, suggestions, or ideas during your job search start with the people you trust.

We network all the time we just don't think of it as networking. Networking, it turns out, is perfectly natural.